Sunday, March 18, 2007
Posted at the request of many in the family, this is the speech given by Wayne's eldest son Glen at his funeral.
My Dad,
He was, to put it simply, a great guy. The best testament to this is the great number of people who called him a friend. Yet, while my dad has a lot of friends, at a personal level he was a tremendously private person. Getting to be friends with my dad was relatively easy, just be nice to him and expect to receive the same, but getting to truly know him was a bit more challenging and to all but a select few nearly impossible. Getting him too truly open up was difficult, even for a wife or son?. Let?s just say it required a lot of patients and a sometimes a few beers helped too.
I myself had only grown truly close to my dad over the last few years. It seemed to take me a lot of time to get through and get him to share his personal thoughts with me. He would circle around certain subjects by starting a conversation about cars n hot-rods, trucks, sports and a personal favorite of mine, politics. I tried many times but I couldn?t figure out why he felt the need to draw lines in the sand. I finally came to believe that he felt he was trying to protect me from the difficult, by not talking about it.
When the conversation was not personal, it would be easy to talk for hours; while simple questions like, how much did something cost would surely get answered with a lot or more than I wanted to spend I guess that was dad?s idea of a deep discussion about how to spend money. Then again my dad was not a business minded person? Maybe he was protecting me from learning his strategy. Some of you may know that my dad recently bought a nice snow-blower? he had looked at it for several weeks then he decided to buy one when there was 3 feet of snow on the ground? so I?d bet he got a really good deal on it. ;
So; how did I finally get my dad to open up? Well, One day several years ago some silly subject came up that I can?t even recall, it seemed to make him uncomfortable and he went with his usual deep sigh as he tried to change the subject. Having been down that road too often, I decided to make a joke about it.
In a semi-serious manner, I said ?Dad do you talk to yourself?? Well needless to say he looked bewildered by my silly question and before he could really say anything I added ?Well I?m your son and I?m all grown up now and if you still can?t talk to me then who can you talk to?? Well he laughed his little laugh and we joked about it some more. I guess he realized he was still treating me like a kid because ever since my little joke we seemed to have more and more meaningful discussions. I?m sure that somehow that silly little joke got through and changed our relationship forever?
Over time he would come to confide in me and share with me more than I had ever hoped. Of course he was still tough to get talking and Dorothy and I agree that it could be like pulling teeth to get much of a response on some subjects. We also agree that my Dad was worth the effort and that we would not have changed a thing.
Recently I asked my Dad about his health; and he told me about the respiratory episode he had just before Christmas where he had to go to the ER. As he described what happened, I could tell that he was afraid and worried, but surprisingly it was not death that scared him the most, it was that he would leave Dorothy unprepared. He worried about all the unfinished things in the house, the bills, and his car in boxes in the garage. He also feared ending up bed ridden or incoherent and what that would do to her. I tried to reassure him that Dorothy would be well taken care of and never alone. While I never wanted to lose him, I am also thankful that he is with God and not in any state that he would not have chosen for himself.
As far back as I can remember I could see how much Dorothy meant to my Dad and that is likely why my brother Dean and I have so much respect for her, and think of her as our second Mom; as well as Dad?s second chance at happiness.
I?d like to pe
Live Chat
Call Us
Live Chat
(518) 843-1920